Just as we were thinking of doing a piece on “Cat on a leash,” here comes “Graham in a noose.” You know, abortion’s been a hot topic for decades, and in the last century there was a time in which people could get arrested for advocating birth control. And in the grand scheme of things, we’re still dealing with the issue on a regular basis, though the fire has died down since the ’80s. So, what do you do if you’re a nationally-known pro-life activist? You go to South Carolina and hang a Republican U.S. senator in effigy.

That’s what Randall Terry did Monday. WYFF was all over the story, which is so absurd that you’d have to see pictures, which makes the station’s small yet apropos photo gallery so perfect. The way the story goes, Terry got his panties in a bunch over U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham voting to confirm Elana Kagan to the U.S. Supreme Court. And he’s going around the country doing “skits” for his television show involving senators who voted for confirmation. Naturally, Terry shows up in Greenville and strings up Graham in effigy, putting a picture of his face on the “head.”

In his second act, he strung up a pinata with Graham’s picture on it, and whacks were taken until — and this is the best part — the innards came running out. Was it tasty candy? Upstate peaches? Old “Gary Bauer for President” buttons? Why, no. Just a bunch of tiny plastic babies. But here’s the kicker of it all — Terry’s shenanigans don’t seem to have made national news until he came here, the nation’s humid greenhouse of crazy.

Not to get all Brad Wartheny, but this shit has to stop, and by that we mean the doctrinaire attitude that just seems to be getting worse. We wouldn’t be surprised if the whips actually start carrying whips now. From Democratic efforts in 2006 to Republican actions this year, it seems that unless you’re a robot for the activist base of your party, you’re on the hot seat.

We asked Wolfe mère to chime in on this, since she was 28-30 at the time all this went down with the Alabama football team (and we were 5-7), but Fridays are typically pub days with the English expats, and Saturdays in the spring are for soccer, and they’re in the mountains for the rest of the weekend, so we’ll probably end up posting an update whenever she decides to check her Hotmail account but she’s back and that opinion is tacked on to the end. A while back, the gentlemen at Roll Bama Roll, the Internet’s premier Alabama sports blog, took a look at the Bill Curry era with the Crimson Tide. As they often do, this was an educated, intelligent post.

The contributor who goes by “outsidethesidelines” wrote, “Curry is actually a very complicated examination, truth be told, and it doesn’t fit in as nicely into an easily understandable box like some other coaches do.” Indeed. Life after the exit of Paul W. Bryant from the sidelines of Bryant-Denny Stadium and Birmingham’s Legion Field have been an epic series of mountains and valleys, with some nice little mesas during the tenure of Mike Shula. When Ray Perkins left the Tide for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. While there, he earned the sobriquet, “‘Throw Ray in the Bay’ Perkins.” He’s not fondly remembered by Bama fans, either.

Looking for the next savior, Alabama administrators cast their eyes to Atlanta. As any good Birminghamian will tell you, the only good thing to come out of Atlanta is I-20. And to go to Hell, you have to change planes in Atlanta. We, ah, we’ve got a pretty bad little sister problem when it comes to that town. Curry was the coach of Georgia Tech, where he was an alumnus. In seven years with the Yellow Jackets, he had three winning seasons, three losing seasons (in his first two were one-win affairs) and a 5-5-1 effort in 1986. We still don’t understand how that made him a good pick. After all, Bobby Bowden, a former Alabama quarterback and Birmingham native, wanted the job. Can you imagine the absolute dominance that would have happened with Bowden at the helm in the late ’80s and throughout the ’90s?

Anyway, selecting Curry had other issues associated with it. Unless you’re in your 60s or 70s, you probably don’t remember when Tech was a member of the Southeastern Conference, and how bad the rivalry was with Alabama. During one game in Atlanta, it was downright dangerous. Once, Bryant had to wear a helmet on the field because fans were throwing beer and bourbon bottles at him. No shit — we’ve seen the pictures. Curry played on teams during that era.

So, here we are, 1987, your new Alabama head coach, Bill Curry. Oh, and let’s get this out of the way — he went 0-FOR THE ’80s against Auburn. Lost seven with Tech, three with Alabama. We’ll be coming back to this. Seriously, Pat Dye owned him like a Two Notch hooker. OK, yeah, ’87. Even though OTS says Curry can’t be nailed down to stats, well, let’s do this. Here’s the big games for ’87.

1987
at Penn State (W, 24-13)
vs. Tennessee at Legion Field (W, 41-22)
at Notre Dame (L, 37-6)
vs. Auburn at Legion Field (L, 10-0)
vs. Michigan (Hall of Fame Bowl, L, 28-24)
FINAL RECORD: 7-5

All in all, not a bad opening year. First seasons are typically crap, and pulling a winning record and a bowl game (especially in the ’80s, when bowls weren’t handed out like candy) was pretty good. As was taking out Penn State and Tennessee. Onward.

1988
at Tennessee (W, 28-20)
vs. Penn State at Legion Field (W, 8-3)
vs. Auburn at Legion Field (L, 15-10)
vs. Army (Sun Bowl, W, 29-28)
FINAL RECORD: 9-3

Excepting a loss against a 5-6 Ole Miss team, this was a solid season as well. Again beating Tennessee and Penn State. A bowl win. Nine victories during the era when reaching double-digit wins really meant something. Even the second loss to Auburn could be forgiven, to a degree, because the Tigers went 10-2 and were paying players like it was going out of style. As OTS says, “Also keep in mind that he did this while Auburn and Pat Dye were at their peak, and — as we later found out via 60 Minutes, among other sources — paying players in straight cash. That’s a level of recruiting success that shouldn’t go unappreciated.” Curry could recruit. But then, so could Shula.

We remember the game against Temple at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia to start off the ’88 campaign, and remember watching the end of the bowl game. That was our introduction to full-on fandom insanity. It had to happen at some point. In July of 1989, we moved from the Yellowhammer State to Irmo and watched the season unfold that fall, as hair-on-fire crazy adherents to the Tide football program. That year, Bama had 10 wins, but as we’ve often stated, a drunk monkey could get 10 wins in Tuscaloosa in three years. Just look at Mike DuBose.

To start off the season, Alabama’s star quarterback, who supposedly was fooling around with Brooke Shields, was injured for the season. A junior backup named Gary Hollingsworth stepped in. He had a solid receiver corps, Siran Stacy at running back and a defense that lived up to the standard. The first games went by with little notice. We picked up on the season during the Ole Miss game. Hurricane Hugo had hit, we had no electricity, but could still receive phone calls. Our dad was working in Arkansas, calling with updates. Bama went down early by double digits. It looked bad. Then, the Bear called down from the sky and said, “Not this time.”

Things took a turn. Next thing you know, the game, held in Jackson, became a total blowout. The final was 63-27. Mind you, this came after a 12-point win over Kentucky and a six-point win over Vanderbilt, which both had poor teams that year. After a win against Southwest Louisiana, Bama gave Tennessee its only loss of the season, by 17 points. The inconsistency could be mind-boggling.

More damning, though, with Curry was evident with his teams, which really always played with a high degree of inconsistency. We’d come out and lose to Memphis, then drill Tennessee, then squeak by Mississippi State, then smoke LSU in Baton Rouge, and then get annihilated by Notre Dame (see the 1987 season). A certain degree of variation in performance levels is to be expected, to be sure, but nothing like the wild swings that were common with Curry. Furthermore, Curry’s teams often played with a tepid nature in big games and key moments. In that regard, we looked a lot more like a Shula team than a Saban team under Curry. That alone is pretty damning.

The win in Birmingham against the Volunteers produced one of the lasting football memories of our lives, and others, apparently, as it survives 21 years later on YouTube.

The next week, Alabama had to go to Penn State. The Nittany Lions were 5-1, the Tide 6-0. We were in the process of moving to Arkansas. As the sun was setting in the early evening of Oct. 28, Penn State drove deep into Alabama territory, setting up what should have been an automatic field goal. Didn’t happen that way.

After knocking off three bowl teams, it was clear sailing until the season finale against Auburn. But a 30-20 loss ended hopes of an undefeated season, and basically quashed any chance of winning the national championship. In Miami’s final game of the year, the Hurricanes took out then-No. 1 Notre Dame. So, even though both teams would be 10-1 going into the Sugar Bowl, an Alabama win would have given the Irish the title, while a Miami win would sew it up for the Canes. Which it did, 33-25.

1989
vs. Ole Miss at Jackson, Miss. (W, 63-27)
vs. Tennessee at Legion Field (W, 47-30)
at Penn State (W, 17-16)
at Auburn (L, 30-20)
vs. Miami (Sugar Bowl, L, 33-25)
FINAL RECORD: 10-2, SEC Champions

While Curry had led Alabama within two games of the mountaintop in just his third season, all was not A-OK back at home. There’s a long-rumored story of an angry fan/student/whomever throwing a brick through the window in Curry’s office. And his relationship with the athletics administration was not exactly rosy. As OTS writes, “The view on his end was always crystal clear: the University of Alabama, its administration, and its fans were fundamentally inferior to Curry and his Georgia Tech background. To that end, Curry treated UA in the same manner than a probation officer would treat one of his juvenile delinquents, and the clashes were inevitable.”

Ultimately, the AD didn’t give Curry the contract he wanted, and he left town. We don’t think Curry ever said he was over his head, but he has admitted that he simply didn’t understand the commitment and obsession over Alabama football, and especially the annual battle with Auburn.

Of course, he did recruit much of the squad that went 11-1 in 1991 and 13-0, with a national title, in 1992. Most people would say that the ’92 defense, along with ’66 and ’09, was one of the best to ever hit the field. Being a good recruiter is what you want in your assistants. Like, say, an auto dealer. The schmoes on the floor do the heavy lifting, and then it’s up for the manager to simply be good enough to close the deal.

Stallings wasn’t so bad, either, bringing in the classes that produced championship-quality teams in 1994, 1996 and the seniors on DuBose’s 1999 SEC championship team.

The last time, and only time Curry returned to Tuscaloosa on the opposite sideline was in his last year at Kentucky when the Wildcats were blown out 35-7. This year, he’s back again, on Nov. 20. After a stint as a color commentator for ESPN, he agreed to build Georgia State’s football program from the ground-up. The ESPN: The Magazine reporter documenting the rise of Georgia State called this fall’s game possibly the biggest mismatch in the history of college football.

The latest news is that, with the clusterfuck of scheduling this year for Alabama — six teams get a bye week before playing the Tide — UA administrators have been trying to get the Panthers to agree to moving the game to Nov. 18, which would give Bama a week before taking on Auburn the following Friday. The GSU people haven’t accommodated quite yet.

There’s also that fact that Crimson Tide quarterback Star Jackson is transferring, and Georgia State looks like the likeliest destination. When he was recruited to the Capstone several years ago, Jackson was considered one of the top quarterbacks in the country, but his time at Alabama hasn’t worked out as planned. He’d be behind starter Greg McElroy again this year, and all signs point to A.J. McCarron taking the reigns in 2011. Jackson’s problem, which he has improved on, is his accuracy. Overthrown, thrown short, the usual.

So, there will be no shortage of story lines when the teams line up later this year.

UPDATED: Wolfe mère got it in, and it’s thought-provoking.

First, there should be no straight comparisons between Curry and Shula except perhaps that they were both coaches at Alabama and they had trouble getting a win in some games where it was expected, but then lots of coaches have had that problem. I believe Shula is a great person who loves football and especially Alabama football…just like his Dad, but he was not ready to coach a big SEC team and deal with guys who are a part of “corporate” college football these days – guys who will take your heart out with a spoon and eat it while you watch. He needed more toughness and experience to be an Alabama coach. It was painful to watch someone want to succeed so hard and fail miserably due to inexperience and youth.

Second, what is and has been a big problem in Alabama football for many years that not many people talk about and what directly affected Mr. Curry’s chances to succeed as an Alabama coach is the too heavy influence and the deep pockets of some wealthy and obviously powerful members of alumni/football backers. They have nearly killed the football program at Alabama because they couldn’t keep their greenbacks in their pockets and their fingers out of the football program. They don’t follow rules in any part of their lives, why should they in their support of college football? If they would just keep out of it and just let the AD and the coaches take care of the football program, Alabama would have been a hell of a lot more successful. It’s too bad that guy who was a big part of bringing the AL football program to its knees was apparently accidentally murdered in Memphis…too bad it happened before he could tell the horrible truth of how far people will go to win in SEC football. Makes people like me wonder what we’ve been cheering for all these years.

Finally, I think Mr. Curry is a good man and an exceptional coach. Just because he did not deliver exactly what was expected by the rabid and insanely influential tyrants of Alabama football and the idiots who have absolutely no knowledge of being an Alabama coach but feel comfortable sitting back and judging (even all these years later) does not lower my esteem for him. He was building a program in his own way in his own time – a winning program that could last a lifetime – not just one season, and that cannot happen quickly. He recruited a championship team! Stallings must have felt bad in private moments for taking the credit for someone else’s hard work, but that is another story will never really be told will it? Curry should have been there to celebrate his hard work and to build a program that would have made everyone proud. He was a good coach for Alabama. He is a good man with good ideas and he really CARES about his players – what a concept! No, those bastards forced him out, so Alabama and Mr. Curry will not have the wonderful movie ending.

If Saban stays at Alabama it will be an incredible miracle and will be much more than Alabama deserves, because he will never be able to have the season he had last year again, and those bastards with the deep pockets and the fat ignorant couch potatoes who seem to know everything but actually know absolutely nothing will be there pushing the buttons, and he’ll go like anyone with any sense would. People may not like to hear it, but Tuscaloosa is not a wonderful place to live compared to the rest of the world. In fact, it’s close to the last place on earth I would choose to live if I had a choice. It’s in the middle of nowhere, full of ignorant rednecks and godawful hot most of the time. I’d say Alabama is damn lucky to get anyone to come down there, so pay Mr. Saban more money than God and maybe he’ll stay, Alabama!

Paul Moore, the former finance director of the S.C. Department of Social Services, was in court on Wednesday after being arrested last week on charges of theft, wire fraud, mail fraud and conspiracy, personally taking over a million dollars from the agency.

The rub, though, is what he spent the money on. As other officials high and low, like former Alabama head football coach Mike Price, will tell you is that when you involve women of the pole, you go from normal ignominy to full-blown infamy.

According to U.S. Attorney Walt Wilkins, Moore said he used the $1.3 million he scammed from DSS for gambling debts, booze and, the aspect that makes reporters’ hearts sing, visits to strip clubs.

However, the authorities have yet to find where the money could have originated before being dispensed on the vice combo.

“We have been unable to locate any cash or bank accounts with large sums of money that are owned, directly or indirectly, by Paul Moore,“ Wilkins said to WSPA.

Also on Wednesday, attorneys for Moore’s seven alleged conspirators asked for charges to be dropped because the government had not produced enough evidence to justify the charges. The judge in the case elected to delay her decision on that matter, but set Moore’s bail at $75,000.

The arrest and upcoming prosecution turns a so-so year for the Moore family into a decidedly bad one. Last year, Paul’s brother Tommy, the former state senator and 2006 Democratic gubernatorial candidate, was criticized for being a prominent lobbyist of the payday lending industry at a time in which many members of both parties in the General Assembly were trying to ban, or at least highly-regulate, the industry which is seen as a predatory lender to lower-middle class families.

WEDNESDAY

• Sen. Glenn McConnell expressed frustration at the Senate’s attempts to work out issues with one of the contractors for work on the Gressette Building (full disclosure: Sen. Marion Gressette was the Wolfe family attorney back in the day). According to statements on the Senate floor, there have been problems with contract negotiations. The Senate went into executive session to deal with the matter.
• Rep. Bakari Sellers introduced an unnumbered bill that would allow 15- and 16-year-olds with special evening driving exemptions to travel to religious activities. Other allowed exemptions include traveling to practice for school athletics and similar actions. Sellers held his arms out in a reaction of incredulity after a couple reactions to his proposal. One legislator, confused as to the nature of the bill, thought it mandated attendance at church. Also, for reasons not immediately ascertained, Rep. Phil Owens was the only legislator to object to the proposal.
• At the end of the day’s session, Rep. Grady Brown made his feelings known on the temperature in the back benches of the House chamber.
  Brown: “Mr. Speaker, I’ve heard several people comment, back in this corner, it is cold. Cold. I would suggest….”
  Speaker of the House Bobby Harrell: “Cold as in you don’t think people care, Mr. Brown?”
  Brown: “I’m talking about the weather.”
  Harrell: “I understand Mr. Brown, and I believe the Sergeant has heard you and he’ll look into that.”

THURSDAY

• Sen. Mike Rose got into an extensive discussion with his colleagues over his bill to allow Dorchester County School District 2 to institute impact fees if it so chooses. Dorchester County is one of the fastest-growing counties in the state, and the district is experiencing the same budget woes of every other governmental entity. Sen. Hugh Leatherman, chairman of the Finance Committee, said the bills, which are considered local legislation, would likely get the state sued. Rose replied that researchers he consulted said the legislation would be OK, and that he did not want the bills to go to the committee. Leatherman offered that he would send the bills to the appropriate subcommittee to be considered.
  
  Rose: “This bill does not impose an impact fee. It gives authority to a school district to do what that school district sees fit within the parameters stated in the bill. Unfortunately, in my county, the students aren’t stopping and the demands on the schools are not stopping, they’re increasing. So we’ve at least got to give them the tools to handle that.
  
  “Senator, I don’t mind carrying over the impact fee bill, but I do mind carrying over the information bill. You couldn’t have anything more vanilla-flavored than providing information. How can anybody be against information?
  
  “I say this respectfully, very respectfully, as respectfully as I can, I’ve been around here long enough to know what can happen if this goes to the Finance Committee. It might go to a subcommittee, but it’s not…the impact fee bill has been there for three years, for Dorchester County, and I know already the chairman who controls it is opposed to impact fees, period. So, I’d be a fool to volunteer to do that.”
  
  After Leatherman’s action to ask for unanimous consent for a motion to send the bills to the Finance Committee failed, the information bill was read for the third time and sent to the House. The impact fees bill was carried over.

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Contact Wes Wolfe at wes@wolfereports.com today.