When you want to see what is the epitome of a slow news day, just check out a bylined story on, of all things, college students getting arrested for a keg party. Well, a couple kids at USC-Upstate got their names in print today for having a party off campus as students tend to do, especially at the beginning of the semester. We can only imagine what would happen if Richland County deputies decided to take on the same responsibilities as their Spartanburg County counterparts.

The county’s Tobacco and Alcohol Compliance team, working on a tip that a party was under way where underage drinking would occur, responded to 110 Sherborne Drive late Friday. On the scene, officers spoke with 12 underage people who admitted they had been drinking at the party, an incident report states.

A search of the residence revealed two other people hiding in the attic and one hiding under a bed.

Master Deputy Tony Ivey of the Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office said Sunday that with the fall semester having begun, or about to begin, at area colleges, the TAC team most likely will step up efforts to “locate, close down and cite or arrest those individuals found to be providing alcohol” to people younger than 21.

We knew that the culture in the Upstate seems to be stuck in the Prohibition Era, but damn. Your local tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen — stopping college freshmen and sophomores from partaking of cheap keg beer. We do give props to the two kids who went into the attic, though. When you can’t run from the house in a flat sprint, an attic certainly beats shuffling under a bed for trying to hide. Also, kids, next time keep down the noise and try to find a place in a more friendly neighborhood.

Georgia, it’s your turn in the box. Wednesday at 11:54 p.m., UGA athletic director Damon Evans was pulled over for DUI in the Buckhead section of Atlanta. Bad news, for sure, but that’s shit you can usually roll with. As in, the usual rote statement of contrition that’s passed out to public figures when they screw up. But like most other scandals, this one started the drip-drip-drip of damning information that can’t be covered up with a news conference the day after the incident.

The first part is that we found out the married father of two was with a 28-year-old woman not his wife. He said she was a friend. Why he and Georgia couldn’t get ready for what was to follow seems to be a massive mistake, but that does seem to be the case with people who are trying to save their asses by any means necessary. Yeah — the spin control went straight down the drain when the police report came out.

The charges Evans was hit with, specifically, were one count of DUI and once count of failure to maintain lane. Then he did a pretty good job failing the field tests. The “follow the pen” one didn’t work out favorably. For the walk-and-turn, anything beyond nine steps was not going to work, and Evans had to steady himself on his car. The one-leg test became problematic, and he had the usual poor speech, boozy smell and bloodshot eyes.

But the real news, where it all came together, was in the narrative.

Certainly, everyone has ideas about what might have been going on in that car prior to being pulled over. Then the, “Do you know who I am,” the “Do you know who he is,” and the crying. Bulldog fans, who seemed to us to be protective of Evans when the news broke on Thursday, are beginning to have a different take on the matter. T. Kyle King, affectionately known as “The Mayor” around the college football blogosphere for the past five years, has called his shot.

Damon Evans is a native Georgian, a former Bulldog football player, a University of Georgia graduate, and a skilled athletic administrator who generally has served our alma mater well. From the first time I heard him speak at a Bulldog Club meeting, Evans was the candidate I preferred to succeed Vince Dooley as athletic director. It has been my hope throughout his tenure that he would do well in that job, and, by and large, he has done well in that job. However, it is now abundantly clear that Damon Evans can no longer continue to serve as the athletic director of the University of Georgia. He should demonstrate the sincerity of his regret and the genuineness of his devotion to the institution he serves by resigning. If his resignation is not on Michael Adams’s desk by the time the president returns from vacation, Damon Evans should be fired.

It only makes sense. SEC athletics are a large, expensive operation. Evans’ credibility is shot among the people with the big dollars that keep the wheels turning.

UPDATE: He’s out.

Take note, Clemson fans. The Bulldogs from Georgia do not like orange. And let’s face it — with last week being the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry, with Auburn visiting Athens, a group of fraternity brothers probably just thought the kid was from Auburn. After all — an ag school, with orange colors, dubious relationships with cows — the similarities are hard to differentiate.

University of Georgia police are looking into a visiting student’s claim he was held captive at a fraternity house after getting into a fight in an Athens bar.

Police say the 18-year-old Clemson University student had multiple cuts and a swollen right eye when they found him in the street outside a fraternity house early Sunday morning.

Officers say the student told them he was held against his will in the basement of the house and was assaulted.

This is what’s called a learning experience. Unless the opposing fans have that gray-haired, responsible businessman look, you probably should hang out around some other guys.