If you’re like us, and you’re likely not, you were watching Alabama‘s spring game on Saturday afternoon, known as “A-Day.” The national champions drew a crowd of more than 91,000 people to watch a glorified scrimmage, which shows that we Crimson Tide fans simply care more about the pigskin. Once the north end zone addition is put up, and Bama wins its 14th national title this year, there will likely be about 100,000 people at next year’s A-Day. This one was carried live on ESPN, and they cut away when the clock ran out with the Crimson and White teams tied at 17. But coach Nick Saban is not one for ties, and he gave the team a sudden-death overtime.
That was when backup quarterback A.J. McCarron showed what the SEC has to be scared of when starter Greg McElroy graduates. He slung a 39-yard touchdown pass to win the game for the White, which was the second-team offense and first-team defense. We’re not yet ready to say that this will be like the ’70s, when the Tide won three national championships and generally dominated college football, but the depth is, as Jim Rome would say, sick. The video below was posted at Roll Bama Roll to show the people who weren’t apart of the 91,000 what went down. And by the way, if you don’t know, the A-Day winners get steak, while the losers get franks and beans. That was a steak-worthy throw and catch.
If you noticed, the picture above is from Rickwood Field, the oldest continually-operating ballpark in America. It’s housed the Birmingham Barons and (until integration) the Birmingham Black Barons, until the Barons got their panties in a wad and decided to move to Hoover, like all the other middle-class whites who previously lived in Jefferson County (white flight — it’s for the LULZ).
A lot of good guys came through Rickwood, and if we were to field a team, it would be stocked with Sox — that is, players from the Red Sox and White Sox organizations. Both have owned the Barons over the years, along with teams like the A’s. So, we went to work drafting the Columbia Hacks’ 2010 fantasy baseball roster yesterday. Here’s how it turned out.
C: A.J. Pierzynski (Chicago White Sox)
1B: Derrek Lee (Chicago Cubs)
2B: Chase Utley (Philadelphia Phillies)
3B: Kevin Youkilis (Boston Red Sox)
SS: Rafael Furcal (L.A. Dodgers)
2B/SS: Placido Polanco (Philadelphia Phillies)
1B/3B: Todd Helton (Colorado Rockies)
OF: Jacoby Ellsbury (Boston Red Sox)
OF: Carl Crawford (Tampa Bay Rays)
OF: Julio Borbon (Texas Rangers)
OF: J.D. Drew (Boston Red Sox)
OF: Milton Bradley (Seattle Mariners)
UTIL: Vladimir Guerrero (Texas Rangers)
BENCH: Vernon Wells (Toronto Blue Jays, Outfield)
BENCH: Kelly Johnson (Arizona Diamondbacks, Second base)
BENCH: Paul Konerko (Chicago White Sox, First base)
P: Justin Verlander (Detroit Tigers)
P: Josh Beckett (Boston Red Sox)
P: Cole Hamels (Philadelphia Phillies)
P: Clay Buchholz (Boston Red Sox)
P: Scott Kazmir (L.A. Angels)
P: Francisco Cordero (Cincinnati Reds)
P: Jose Valverde (Detroit Tigers)
P: Huston Street (Colorado Rockies)
P: Bobby Jenks (Chicago White Sox)
By the way, we won our fantasy football league last year, so the jokers in this baseball league ought to get ready to be totally owned.
Several months ago, news came out that the Major League Baseball team that has a lifetime contract with Satan, the New York Yankees, reached a deal to play host to a bowl game in the new Yankee Stadium. Already, the Yanks had been brokering deals to bring in regular season games with teams like Notre Dame and Army, in a desperate attempt to get Beano Cook to return their phone calls (they love you Beano — they didn’t mean what they said about 1950s Syracuse).
ESPN, the main generator of the out-of-control growth of bowl games in the past 20 years, has signed on to broadcast this massive mistake. Dec. 30, outdoors, a bowl game in New York City. Between the No. 3 Big East team and the No. 6 Big XII team, after BCS selections. RATINGS BONANZA!
And, oh, did you know what the official name of this steaming pile? It’s the..
Future generations will look back at such an abomination and rightly call us all idiots.
It’s almost like an old-school rap feud — you hear something once in a while, and you have to go to niche places to learn about it. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ESPN writer/podcaster/”voice of the fan” Bill Simmons do not like each other. At all. And before you say anything — no, no, it has nothing to do with politics. They’re both liberals. It has to do with competence and being an asshole. Which one is the better representation of a rectum is open to interpretation.
We like Olbermann, except when he gets on those pious kicks that are better left to blubbering doughboy Glenn Beck. Also, his verbal tick of referring to people he’s ripping (e.g. Mr. Simmons) with a perfunctory Mr. or Ms. or whatever is clearly sarcastic, overdone and not cool. We like Simmons except when he goes on and on about the NBA (he wrote “The Book of Basketball” for chrissakes) and his dumbass contemplations on betting lines for the NFL. Why, yes, Bill, I do want to listen to you and Cousin Sal go over this week’s picks, and which one of you can predict the line, for a fucking hour. That shit is disrespectful to the Subway Fresh Take Hotline. On a related note, we also like Tony Kornheiser, who completes the trifecta of current and former ESPN personalities other than Chris Berman that people seem to love to hate.
So, Olbermann’s reflecting on Simmons and his rise within the Mothership, said regarding the Sports Guy and his column comparing Tiger Woods to Muhammad Ali, “In the interim I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly.”
Simmons hit back with Tweets, one of which read, “KO, please know the feeling is mutual. You’re my worst case scenario for my career in 12 yrs: a pious, unlikable blowhard who lives alone.” He later mentions cats. As we’ve lived alone with a cat, twice, we’d have to say it’s not bad. Being an unlikable blowhard is a part of being a commentator, especially about politics. Getting high-and-mighty about Dick Cheney is pretty irritating. Of course, Olbermann responds that Simmons doesn’t have room to talk about blowhardedness. The man from Boston yaks about a few topics for a few hours every week in his podcast, but his trespass is his writing. He generated more than 700 pages on pro basketball.
Of course, he wanted to call the massive tome, “Tuesdays with Horry,” which we could get behind, if only for the title.
Olbermann did put the hammer down on the career comparison, however:
I am surprised, however, to be able to shed some light on something that has been a prominent topic of late around the internet: the prospect that Mr. Simmons is leaving ESPN. Admittedly I am something of an authority on this process. Nonetheless, I was stunned to receive several emails from some of Mr. Simmons’ bosses there, thanking me for pointing out the absurdity of, and the embarrassment to ESPN provided by, the Woods/Ali comparison.
About five years ago, I guess, somebody said Tony Kornheiser was the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN. I was, of course, crushed (although I believe I got honorable mention). When ESPN bosses are writing me for helping them about somebody they claim has now lapped Tony and myself, I am left to conclude only that if Mr. Simmons does leave ESPN, it may not be entirely of his own choosing.
BURNED!
Now the eyes of a nation turn back to Simmons to see him compare Olbermann to the person he most dislikes in the most recent Real World/Road Rules Challenge.
On a night when Alabama finally came through on a first half lead to beat a Top 25 team, we’re rather unhappy to get distracted to that cow college in the Upstate. But, their virus spread to the ESPN analysts.
Texas Tech coach Mike Leach is well-known for his strange obsession in piracy. And, not the Somali version, but the 17th-and-18th century type of buccaneer that would sail the high seas. This became known to the national college football universe when The New York Times‘ Michael Lewis wrote,
As his team raced onto the field, he gazed into the stands filled with screaming fans and wondered about the several thousand “cadets” from Texas A.&M. clustered in one end zone. They wear military uniforms and buzz cuts, holler in unison and stand at attention the entire game. “How come they get to pretend they are soldiers?” he asked. “The thing is, they aren’t actually in the military. I ought to have Mike’s Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you’re a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we’ll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that.”
And so, it’s been known that the man who has been “Cap’n” on the Red Raiders’ program since 2000 has been a rather quirky fellow. But with a gentlemen with a jib cut thus, it was only a matter of time until some other swashbuckler came for his head. This certain privateer is known as Craig James, a guy who was a running back for SMU during its days as the worst rules offender in the history of college football, before he became a TV talking head. See, his son is on the Tech squad. Leach obviously forgot one lesson — don’t mess with a C-list sports celebrity’s kid.
The school said in a release Monday defensive coordinator Ruffin McNeill will be the interim coach and lead the team in the Valero Alamo Bowl on Jan. 2 against Michigan State. McNeill will remain in charge of the team until the investigation is complete.
The player, Adam James, is a redshirt sophomore wide receiver for the Red Raiders and the son of ESPN college football analyst Craig James.
A source close to the family told ESPN’s Joe Schad that James sustained a concussion on Dec. 16, was examined on Dec. 17 and told not to practice due to a concussion and an elevated heart rate. The source said Leach called a trainer and directed him to move James “to the darkest place, to clean out the equipment and to make sure that he could not sit or lean. He was confined for three hours.”
According to the source, Leach told the trainer, two days later, to “put [James] in the darkest, tightest spot. It was in an electrical closet, again, with a guard posted outside.”
An attorney for Leach said that while James was secluded twice, the circumstances were not as portrayed in that account.
Ted Liggett, Leach’s attorney, said James “was placed in an equipment room as it was much cooler and darker” than the practice field “after a doctor had examined him and returned him to the field.”
Was it a coach making an unusual decision to help his player, or an ego-driven dad flipping out? We should find out in January, when it’s determined if Leach will be able to man the helm or walk the plank.
We’re as surprised as anyone else, but Alabama running back continues to lead the race for the Heisman Trophy, according to two widely-watched handicapping polls. Over the weekend, Ingram rushed for 99 yards on 18 carries for 5.5 yards-per-carry, no touchdowns and one fumble. It was his first lost fumble in his time at Alabama.
Still, he’s doing OK. After eight games, Ingram has 1,004 yards rushing on 153 carries for 6.6 yards-per-carry and eight touchdowns. He also has 186 yards receiving from 19 catches for 9.8 yards-per-reception and three touchdowns.
The HeismanPundit.com poll, which has been pretty accurate since it started, goes like this:
1. Mark Ingram, 56 (9)
2. Jimmy Clausen, 26 (1)
3. Colt McCoy, 25
ESPN.com’s poll also has Ingram with a significant lead.
1. Mark Ingram, 57 (7)
2. Jimmy Clausen, 43 (4)
3. Tim Tebow, 41 (3)
With the bye week, Ingram will probably lose ground. Notre Dame takes on Washington State, who the Irish should destroy, Texas gets Oklahoma State, it’s toughest opponent for the rest of the season, and Florida goes to the Cocktail Party versus a Georgia team that has shown little in the way of defense all year.
However, if Ingram can put up the numbers he should with a the week off, the Crimson Tide could see its first Heisman winner.
Remember a couple weeks ago when Georgia Tech and its sexy flexbone totally owned Clemson? We blame the purple uniforms. You’d think Tigers coach Dabo Swinney, who won a national championship at Alabama (while being the whitest guy on the team not named Jay Barker), would have some respect for continuity and tradition. The man played for Gene Stallings for Heaven’s sake. Stallings was one of the Junction Boys, one of those that actually endured the hell and stayed.
But, no, all-purple. Doomed from the start.
Anyway, as Deadspin points out, a guy with the unfiltered ESPN feed caught the guys in the booth really making fun of a kid who appears to be a Clemson student. Hey, we’re not going to lie — we’ve had some epic meltdowns during Alabama games. Some ended in tears (see: Mississippi State 17-Alabama 16, 1996), while most involved tirades approaching this gentleman (you know, without the racial epithets — we do have standards).
Thankfully, none were captured on ESPN for Chris Fowler to run some jokes. This Clemson fan wasn’t so lucky.
Columbia City Councilman Daniel Rickenmann should really have someone talk to him. You know, a good sit-down, like you’d do with a child that just got a 17 on a test. Yes, the student got the concept that it was a test and that answers should be given, but other wise it was an epic fail. Such is what Rickenmann did at the City Council meeting Wednesday.
According to The State‘s Adam Beam’s tweet, the at-large member thought it would be a good idea to raise hospitality tax revenue by getting Carolina to — and we’re not kidding here — schedule more noon kickoffs so that fans will stick around and go to dinner and other such activities.
Let’s go through the number of reasons this is one of the most asinine comments to come out of City Council in a while (and that’s saying something). First, there is a reason most games in the South are scheduled for after 6 p.m. — it’s too fucking hot out. People will fall out, have health problems, &c. Even well-conditioned football players will be at risk for dehydration, cramping and other such issues. It’s bad enough with a 3:30 p.m. CBS start. OK, that’s one thing.
Second is Carolina doesn’t have much control over what time when the games are played. The Southeastern Conference, ESPN and CBS have deals that decide who plays on what channel and at what time. Obviously, Rickenmann didn’t consider that USC would have to, some way, somehow, throw a spanner in the works of the millions and millions of dollars involved for the networks, the conference and yes, the member institutions.
If Columbia wants to raise more cash from the hospitality tax, making unreasonable suggestions about seven weekends out of 52 might not be the best idea.
In a little over four weeks, we’ll be able to set of fireworks and celebrate the beginning of the best four months of the year — college football season. It’s like mating season for some animals. People lose their ability to be rational. Marriages undergo strain. We personally experience changes that end up with screaming at the television, multiple phone calls to family members during the game generally losing all semblance of sanity.
We now have the full TV lineup of games for the first week of the season, so plan your lives accordingly.
Thursday, September 3
7 p.m., South Carolina at North Carolina State, ESPN
7:30 p.m., North Texas at Ball State, ESPNU
8 p.m., Eastern Kentucky at Indiana. Big Ten Network
9 p.m., Utah State at Utah, the Mtn.
10:15 p.m., Oregon at Boise State, ESPN
Friday, September 4
8 p.m., Tulsa at Tulane, ESPN
Saturday, September 5
Noon, Towson at Northwestern, Big Ten Network
Noon, Montana State at Michigan State, Big Ten Network
Noon, Appalachian State at East Carolina, MASN
Noon, Minnesota at Syracuse, ESPN2
Noon, Kentucky at Miami (OH), ESPNU
Noon, Navy at Ohio State, ESPN
Noon, Akron at Penn State, Big Ten Network
Noon, Liberty at West Virginia, Big East Network
Noon, Toledo at Purdue, Big Ten Network
12:05 p.m., Northern Iowa at Iowa, Big Ten Network
12:21 p.m., Western Kentucky at Tennessee, SEC Network
1 p.m., Jacksonville State at Georgia Tech, ESPN 360
2 p.m., Northeastern at Boston College, ESPN 360
3:30 p.m., San Jose State at Southern Cal, FSN
3:30 p.m., Nevada at Notre Dame, NBC
3:30 p.m., Western Michigan at Michigan, ABC or ESPN2
3:30 p.m., Baylor at Wake Forest, ABC
3:30 p.m., Georgia at Oklahoma State, ABC
3:30 p.m., Jackson State at Mississippi State, ESPNU
3:40 p.m., Missouri vs. Illinois at St. Louis, Mo., ESPN
6 p.m., Citadel at North Carolina, ESPN 360
6 p.m., Middle Tennessee State at Clemson, ESPN 360
6 p.m., William & Mary at Virginia, ESPN 360
7 p.m., Louisiana Tech at Auburn, ESPNU
7 p.m., Charleston Southern at Florida, FSN
7 p.m., UConn at Ohio, ESPN 360
7 p.m., Florida Atlantic at Nebraska, FSN PPV
7 p.m., UL-Monroe at Texas FSN PPV
7 p.m., Wofford at South Florida, Bright House Network
7 p.m., Brigham Young vs. Oklahoma at Arlington, Tex., ESPN
7 p.m., Northern Illinois at Wisconsin, Big Ten Network
7 p.m., Northern Colorado at Kansas, Fox College Sports Central
7:30 p.m., Western Carolina at Vanderbilt, CSS
8 p.m. Alabama vs. Virginia Tech at Atlanta, Ga., ABC
8 p.m., Idaho at New Mexico State, Altitude
9 p.m., Central Michigan at Arizona, AWSN
9 p.m., Buffalo at UTEP, CBS College Sports
10 p.m. Maryland at California, ESPN2
10:30 p.m., LSU at Washington, ESPN
Sunday, September 6
3:30 p.m. Mississippi at Memphis, ESPN
7 p.m., Colorado State at Colorado, FSN
Monday, September 7
4 p.m., Cincinnati at Rutgers, ESPN
8 p.m., Miami (FL) at Florida State, ESPN
