swagOne of the under reported stories every year in major college football is the amount of free crap football players get when they go to a bowl game. Some is useless. For instance, we got a free watch from the SEC and a free pin for covering the 2004 SEC Men’s Basketball Tournament. Frankly, the catered Georgia Dome food, free bags of Golden Flake and Dr. Pepper out the wazzou was better than what the conference gave sportswriters.

The following is what SEC teams will be getting this year.

Music City Bowl
Kentucky: RCA high-def camcorder, Fossil watch, Majestic fleece pullover, New Era cap, Ogio Metro laptop pack
Independence Bowl
Georgia: Sony gift suite, Timely Watch Co. watch, New Era cap, football
Chick-fil-A Bowl
Tennessee: $250 Best Buy gift card, Fossil watch, Russell Athletic knit cap, Russell Athletic travel bag, football, Chick-fil-A gift card
Outback Bowl
Auburn: Best Buy gift card, Pro-Swiss watch, Jostens ring, hat, Outback Steakhouse gift card
Capital One Bowl
LSU: Party at Best Buy ($420 limit), Timely Watch Co. watch
Sugar Bowl
Florida: Sony, Apple, Trek, Garmin and Weber gift suite, Timely Watch Co. watch, New Era cap, Ogio Politan laptop pack, Lane recliner
Papajohns.com Bowl
South Carolina: RCA high-def mini-camcorder, Oakley Surf Pack backpack
Cotton Bowl
Ole Miss: Unknown
Liberty Bowl
Arkansas: Westinghouse 19-inch LCD HDTV/computer monitor, Fossil watch, Nike training shoes/sport sandals/sunglasses, football
BCS National Championship Game
Alabama: Sony gift suite with Trek and Garmin, Fossil watch, New Era 59Fifty cap, Ogio Politan laptop pack

bowlpicksThere are 34 bowl games this year, and we’re picking every damn one of them (probably with 60-70 percent success). You can follow the progress or join up and do battle with us through ESPN College Bowl Mania. We’re in “The League” and “The War Against Tebow.” TWAT (jokes!) is the brainchild of decamped S.C. blogger and good time Johnny, Micah Snead, so go there. But beware — Snead’s dad is a total ringer and will probably take the title by 20 points.

bowl01Dec. 19, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Fresno State v. Wyoming

bowl02Dec. 19, 8 p.m., ESPN
Central Florida v. Rutgers

bowl03Dec. 20, 8:30 a.m., ESPN
Southern Miss v. Middle Tennessee State

bowl04Dec. 22, 8 p.m., ESPN
No. 18 Oregon State v. No. 14 BYU

bowl05Dec. 23, 8 p.m., ESPN
No. 23 Utah v. California

bowl06Dec. 24, 8 p.m., ESPN
Nevada v. Southern Methodist

bowl06Dec. 26, 1 p.m., ESPN
Marshall v. Ohio

bowl07Dec. 26, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
No. 17 Pitt v. North Carolina

bowl08Dec. 26, 8 p.m., ESPN
Boston College v. No. 24 Southern Cal

bowl09Dec. 27, 8:30 p.m., ESPN
Kentucky v. Clemson

bowl10Dec. 28, 5 p.m., ESPN2
Texas A&M v. Georgia

bowl11Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
UCLA v. Temple

bowl12Dec. 29, 8 p.m., ESPN
No. 15 Miami v. No. 25 Wisconsin

bowl13Dec. 30, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Bowling Green v. Idaho

bowl14Dec. 30, 8 p.m., ESPN
No. 20 Arizona v. No. 22 Nebraska

bowl15Dec. 31, Noon, ESPN
Houston v. Air Force

bowl16Dec. 31, 2 p.m., CBS
Oklahoma v. No. 21 Stanford

bowl17Dec. 31, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
Navy v. Missouri

bowl18Dec. 31, 6 p.m., NFL Network
Minnesota v. Iowa State

bowl19Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
No. 11 Virginia Tech v. Tennessee

bowl20Jan. 1, 11 a.m., ESPN
Northwestern v. Auburn

bowl21Jan. 1, 1 p.m., CBS
No. 16 West Virginia v. Florida State

bowl22Jan. 1, 1 p.m., ESPN
No. 13 Penn State v. No. 12 LSU

bowl23Jan. 1, 4:30 p.m., ABC
No. 8 Ohio State v. No. 7 Oregon

bowl24Jan. 1, 8:30 p.m., Fox
No. 5 Florida v. No. 3 Cincinnati

bowl25Jan. 2, Noon, ESPN2
South Florida v. Northern Illinois

bowl26Jan. 2, 2 p.m., ESPN
South Carolina v. Connecticut

bowl27Jan. 2, 2 p.m., Fox
No. 19 Oklahoma State v. Ole Miss

bowl28Jan. 2, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
Arkansas v. East Carolina

bowl29Jan. 2, 9 p.m., ESPN
Michigan State v. Texas Tech

bowl30Jan. 4, 8 p.m., Fox
No. 6 Boise State v. No. 4 TCU

bowl31Jan. 5, 8 p.m., Fox
No. 10 Iowa v. No. 9 Georgia Tech

bowl32Jan. 6, 7 p.m., Fox
No. 25 Central Michigan v. Troy

bowl33Jan. 7, 8 p.m., ABC
No. 2 Texas v. No. 1 Alabama

bowlsHere we go. With the conference championship games over, and only Army-Navy left on Dec. 12, bowl bids are going out hot and heavy. There are some things that were expected, some surprises and — oh man — Clemson totally got jobbed.

BCS National Championship Game
No. 1 Alabama v. No. 2 Texas
Sugar Bowl
No. 5 Florida v. No. 3 Cincinnati
Capital One Bowl
No. 12 LSU v. No. 13 Penn State
Cotton Bowl
Ole Miss v. No. 19 Oklahoma State
Outback Bowl
Auburn v. Northwestern
Chick-fil-A Bowl
Tennessee v. No. 11 Virginia Tech
Music City Bowl
Kentucky v. Clemson
Liberty Bowl
Arkansas v. East Carolina
Independence Bowl
Georgia v. Texas A&M
Papajohns.com Bowl
South Carolina v. Connecticut

Definitely some interesting matchups — Georgia and Texas A&M are a couple big name teams for a small bowl, so that should be good. In other bowls, the Gator Bowl gave a big, wet, sloppy kiss to Bobby Bowden by inviting Florida State and West Virginia. Travesty. Though it was technically OK, Miami and Boston College were higher up in the selection order in the ACC. Southern Cal, the over-hyped 8-4 team, is going to play the Eagles in the Emerald Bowl in San Francisco.

Ooh! There are other BCS games?

Fiesta Bowl
No. 6 Boise State v. No. 4 TCU
Rose Bowl
No. 7 Oregon v. No. 8 Ohio State
Orange Bowl
No. 9 Georgia Tech v. No. 10 Iowa

bowlinIt won’t all become final until after the SEC Championship Game on Saturday, but with Florida and Alabama locking down the BCS National Championship Game and the Sugar Bowl, everything else is good to go. There’s a glut of teams choking the middle of the standings in the conference, so it was really a crapshoot as to who went where.

Carolina might have upset Clemson to post its seventh win, but that doesn’t appear to have changed much in the bowl perspective from two weeks ago. And why’s that? The upper-level bowls wanted to take another date to the dance.

Guess which team comes out smelling like a rose? That’s right, your favorite and mine, the cheap-trick, dirty-playing team from the worst place in the lower half of Alabama not named Montgomery. Auburn got the invite to the Outback Bowl, which means the Tigers get to have fun in the seedier areas of Ybor City while trying to figure out how to beat Wisconsin. Of course, the joke’s on the Aubies, with the godawful early start of 11 a.m.

LSU, with the third-best record, got its expected trip to Orlando for the Capital One Bowl. Depending on which team is picked for an at-large bid in a BCS bowl, LSU will play either Penn State or Iowa.

The first part of the dam to break was the news given to ESPN that Ole Miss is going to the Cotton Bowl for the second straight year. What’s different for the Rebels this time, and their batshit crazy head coach, is the game will be played at Cowboys Stadium instead of the aging monument to football at the Texas state fairgrounds. Just imagine Houston Nutt, on the biggest high-definition screen anywhere, looking over JerryWorld like a Southern-fried Big Brother. Word is that Ole Miss will be facing Oklahoma State.

Hm. Who do we dislike more? It all comes down to fan bases — mountain rednecks from East Tennessee versus the biggest group of bandwagon fans in college football. You know it — it’s Tennessee v. Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. Imagine the weird thoughts going through Tech. It began the season in the Georgia Dome against an SEC team, and it will end the season that way. Of course, Tennessee isn’t Alabama, so we’d imagine the Hokies would be favored.

Carolina fans were crossing fingers and praying hard for the Gamecocks to get the invitation to the Music City Bowl (what a bunch of Gaylords). But — a-ha! — foiled again by Kentucky. The gentlemen who run the bowl want to bring the Wildcats to Nashville, so that’s how it goes. It’s expected that either North Carolina or Miami will be the ACC representative in the game.

Ooh, not looking good. Next up, the Liberty Bowl, which shocked no one by taking Arkansas. It takes, ah, only a walk over the bridge to get from the Natural State to Memphis, so Razorback fans will be filling the stadium. If Houston beats East Carolina in the Conference-USA Championship Game, the bowl will be a throwback to the old Southwest Conference days.

Shreveport goes to Georgia, a quite unfortunate end to the season for the Bulldogs. Let’s face it — no team wants to go to the Independence Bowl. The only reason we saw Carolina play Missouri there a few years ago was because it was on the way to Dallas, where Alabama was taking on Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl. Oh, Gamecocks. That means y’all are in…

…the Papajohns.com Bowl. Yessir, that’s my antiquated monument to Southern football! Welcome back to Birmingham, Carolina. We missed you. It’s been 30 years since you last played at Legion Field, losing to Missouri in the Hall of Fame Classic. If you recall, there used to be an upper deck over the west stands. Structural integrity can be a fickle mistress, and it was taken down several years ago. So, enjoy playing a mediocre Big East team in the cold, try not to get shot in one of the worst neighborhoods in town and for Heaven’s sake, make a trip to Milo’s. You’ll thanks us later for that last one.

uautcThis past week was considered a boring one at the outset, but a few games created new story lines and teams that will be slotted into the SEC bowl tie-ins got a little of a shake. With Tennessee’s win, the conference now has 10 bowl eligible teams, and barring a strange turn, will be sending each of them to a bowl. Sorry, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt — your sub-.500 status locks in your teams as teh suxx0rs.

BCS National Championship Game
Alabama or Florida v. Texas
Sugar Bowl
Alabama or Florida v. Cincinnati
Capital One Bowl
Ole Miss v. Penn State
Outback Bowl
Tennessee v. Wisconsin
Cotton Bowl
LSU v. Nebraska
Chick-fil-A Bowl
Georgia v. Virginia Tech
Music City Bowl
Kentucky v. Miami
Liberty Bowl
Arkansas v. Houston
Independence Bowl
Auburn v. At-large
Papajohns.com Bowl
South Carolina v. South Florida

There are some others who are thinking that Carolina won’t be slotted in the last spot, with Georgia or Tennessee taking that place. It really is just conjecture, though. To a degree, records and tiebreakers don’t matter past the top teams. Bowl committees have their rules as a mishmash of one guy gets first choice of a team from the SEC West, or East, and if then, &c. You need a flowchart to follow that, alone. Then there’s considerations as far as geographics, ticket sales and TV ratings.

Also, you may have noticed “Auburn v. At-large.” Unless Kansas can upset Missouri, The Big XII will not have enough teams to fill its entire bowl slate, and the Independence Bowl brings up the rear. Under any other circumstance, a team would be available, but Kansas State, which has closed out the season at 6-6, doesn’t have enough qualifying wins to make it. Last season, neither the Big XII nor the SEC had enough teams, and Louisiana Tech played Northern Illinois in Shreveport.

That means a team with enough wins from one of the non-BCS conferences that is eligible will be taken. Right now, the Sun Belt is the first available alternate conference. Here’s some fun for Tiger fans — the two teams most likely to go are UL-U-Pick’em, that is UL-Lafayette and UL-Monroe. Imagine that, going to play a bowl game against a team you usually schedule as an early-season patsy. Believe it, Auburn fans. It’s in the cards.

ufuniNike’s bizarre, “tradition ain’t shit” uniform policy will befoul a number of teams for the rest of the month. Alabama, thank God, has been limited to the swoosh, the NCAA-mandated conference pennant and the script A, through there was that houndstooth collar mess for the 2006 Ole Miss game.

It appears the garish ensemble will come out for the Florida State game (but there hasn’t been a definitive statement). The Seminoles will also be wearing the misfit creation, with a black helmet. Don’t drink too much, as you might not recognize who’s on the field. We haven’t found a picture of the side of the Florida helmet, but unless it’s got the old-school F on that white melon case, it’s going to be even more strange. Throw a blue helmet on there, and you’d swear it’s Kentucky.

The other ones are even weirder. LSU’s look like a direct rip from Washington. The helmets are gold. TCU’s entry has pants that look like scales and red stripes on the helmet. Horned frogs, you see, shoot blood out of their eyes. Miami has two-tone numbers, but the only tradition there is thuggery and fairweather fans, so that’s no big deal.

ualsuThere’s no doubt now. In a few weeks, Alabama and Florida will meet in the Georgia Dome for the chance to play for the national championship in Pasadena. Florida’s ticket was booked last week, while the Crimson Tide had to hold serve against No. 9 LSU to secure the SEC West title.

When Arkansas and South Carolina joined the SEC and the league split into two divisions, the Gators and the Tide seemed to always be meeting up in the conference championship game. Bama, which won the first two SEC titles, also claimed the first championship game. However, Steve Spurrier’s Florida teams usually got the best of Gene Stallings’ Tide squads. Alabama and the Gators have met six times in the SEC Championship Game, with Florida walking away with four of those.

But, really, goddamn, how ’bout beating LSU again? Crimson Tide running back Mark Ingram burnished his Heisman numbers by putting 144 rushing yards on the Bengal Tiger defense, quarterback Greg McElroy — the safety excepted — actually showed up, and, oh, Julio. There will be an entire generation of kids in Alabama named Julio. How Jones ended up in open space on that screen pass will vex us for years, and we’ve watched the replay a number of times. It was incredible. Catch, juke, gone. Strike up the band.

It was reported over the past week that Bama coach Nick Saban didn’t promise Jones anything when he recruited him. Mind you, Julio was considered by many as the top high school wide receiver in the nation at the time. All Saban said was, “We’re going to win, with or without you.” It is nice to have Jones on the team, though.

So, the first big hurdle is over. Last year, Alabama beat Tennessee, LSU and Auburn in the same year for the first time in forever. This year, two down, one to go. And, we’re getting a little giddy about it. Shit, Auburn let Furman score 31 points. Garbage time or not, that’s pathetic. The Plainsmen’s defense has been porous all season, and it hasn’t solidified. The 36-0 beating in Tuscaloosa last year was damn cathartic, but whipping those bastards in their own house will be even better.

roundupAfter a wretched start against a FCS opponent in S.C. State, South Carolina pulled away in the second half to secure its fourth win of the season and notch the No. 25 spot in the AP Poll. The Gamecocks can credit a win over an otherwise overrated Ole Miss team — Rebel quarterback Jevan Snead threw three picks against Vanderbilt on Saturday — and the otherwise sterling reputation of the SEC.

Auburn, which has been a little bit more impressive in building a 5-0 record, nonetheless let Tennessee get closer than the Vols should have. Anyway, it was enough to place the Tigers in the No. 17 slot.

Here’s a situation to ponder: No. 3 Alabama, No. 4 LSU and No. 17 Auburn are all 5-0 in the SEC West, and all play each other. Drama, you say? We has it.

Speaking of ranked SEC teams, the conference comprises 24 percent of the poll.

No. 1 Florida
No. 3 Alabama
No. 4 LSU
No. 17 Auburn
No. 20 Ole Miss
No. 25 South Carolina

With Florida and Texas both on their bye weeks, the Crimson Tide edged closer to jumping the Longhorns for the No. 2 spot. Bama is only 12 points away from Texas, while leading LSU by 114. Next week, the Tide plays Ole Miss in Oxford, while Texas tangles with a heinous Colorado team at home. The Horns should win big. If Bama emerges with a win, especially a double-digit win, that could be enough for the sportswriters to drop Texas.

But, let’s not forget the USA Today Coaches’ Poll, which is actually used in the BCS formula. Carolina is still on the outside looking in, in the non-existent No. 27 spot, 20 points behind Georgia and 28 points behind No. 25 Wisconsin.

Beyond the polls
Georgia fans are most likely miserable after the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty called on receiver A.J. Green. Well, suck it, Dawg fans. Your legendary former coach Vince Dooley made a push about 20 years ago to severely restrict the ability of college football players to celebrate after touchdowns and other such times. For what it’s worth, the same penalty was called on LSU, but the LSU kicker managed to kick the ball long enough and the Tiger coverage team executed to where UGA couldn’t make the comeback.

As for the status of Georgia and LSU, it seems like the Bulldogs are a decent team that has trouble finishing, and LSU is a decent team that can finish. At this point, that’s the difference between No. 4 and being unranked.

Auburn looks good, but not that good. After being up 23-6, the Tigers were outscored 16-3 in the final 11 minutes. As Nick Saban would say, you have to finish. Mind you, Auburn also gave up 30 points to over-matched West Virginia and Ball State teams. Whether it’s gradual or with the backups in, there’s no excuse for letting a team put 30 on your defense.

To wit:
SEC most points allowed
1. Georgia (139)
2. Mississippi State (131)
3. Auburn (119)

Now, Auburn (207) has scored the most points out of anyone, with Alabama coming in No. 2 (200). However, Alabama has allowed 47 fewer points, or 9.4 less points a game than the Tigers. As well, Alabama has allowed the fewest amount of points in conference games, with the exception of Florida, which because of a bye week has played four, not five games.

Average score per game:
Alabama, 40-14.4
Auburn, 41.4-23.8

If Auburn wants to be in the same company as the Tide and Gators, it will have to get its defense in order. You don’t give up more than three touchdowns a game almost halfway through the season and expect to hang with teams that can score over 30 a game and play defense.

As for Carolina, what can be said about a team that, for a half, looked every bit the upset fodder for a MEAC squad? What it means is that this Gamecock squad is no different than any we’ve seen since 2000. You never know what’s going to happen. There’s no consistency, even though the talent is obviously there to be a Top 20 team every season. Which is why this weekend’s Kentucky game is no easy try. The Wildcats have three very talented offensive players, at quarterback, wide out and running back, not to mention a shut-down corner that took Julio Jones out of the game this past Saturday.

If Carolina can get past Kentucky, the team will be in serious trouble when it heads to Tuscaloosa on Oct. 17. If we were Alabama linebacker Rolando McClain, we’d be so excited about making Stephen Garcia’s life a living hell that we could hardly sleep. We may have a better idea of how prepared the Gamecocks are for the rest of the year when the Wildcats come to town.

seclights

Jokes.

ALABAMA
It takes five. One to change it, three to reminisce about how Bear Bryant would have done it and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

ARKANSAS
It takes none. There is no electricity in Arkansas.

AUBURN
It takes 100. One to screw in the bulb, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Bama and 50 to realize it’s all a lie, get looped and roll Toomer’s Corner.

FLORIDA
It takes four. One to change it and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

GEORGIA
It takes three. One to screw in the bulb and two to phone a friend at Georgia Tech for instructions.

KENTUCKY
It takes eight. One to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season.

LSU
It takes seven -– and each one gets credit for four semester hours.

OLE MISS
It takes six. One to change the bulb two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

MISSISSIPPI STATE
It takes 15. One to screw it in, two to buy the Skoal and 12 to yell, “GO TO HELL, OLE MISS, GO TO HELL!!!”

SOUTH CAROLINA
It takes 80,000. One to screw in the bulb and 79,999 to discuss how this will finally be the year that they have a decent football team.

TENNESSEE
It takes 10. Two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

VANDERBILT
It takes two. One to change the bulb and one to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

tidelsu

It’s been a while since we could predict that Alabama would be good season-in and season-out (like, say, 1989-1996), so we’re getting ready for the 2009 season by getting hyped with the best highlight videos from last season’s 12-0 regular season campaign.

For those of you who don’t understand what it’s like to expect excellence from your favorite football team every year, we feel bad for you, son. Actually, no, not really. Expecting mediocrity would be much easier than having to deal with the the letdowns of the past decade of Crimson Tide football (you have it easy, South Carolina). But, we’re pretty excited and can’t wait to see Bama wipe out another ACC team in the Georgia Dome.

Get ready to Roll Tide

Ole Miss v. Alabama

Alabama v. Tennessee

Arkansas State game not posted because of copyright issues.

Alabama v. LSU